When I wanted to explore my relationship to energy work, I knew that what I learned would change my world. But I didn’t know just how much the lines of space and time would blur.
I decided to stay during fall in the southern California desert because I was attracted by the emptiness and isolation—it felt like the place to process and integrate a year full of abstract spiritual learnings. It was also the perfect controlled environment for a self experiment. I intended to explore my relationship to energy work (an offshoot of my spiritual learnings), and I knew that meant going to the fundamental bits—the quantum-level—of myself. I needed to go to where I was just information.
As part of my experiment, I arranged for energy healing and spiritual guidance from Atasiea, a reiki master and spiritual guidance counselor whom I had met in Guatemala during an ecstatic dance retreat in January. He had facilitated an energy-infused dance session there that helped me go deep into my own body and high into my mind to let go of toxic thought patterns that were controlling me. It was the dissolution of those toxic patterns that allowed me to become ready for a new phase of spiritual growth.
Hold that thought.
I was in the library one afternoon in November, months after Guatemala. I was reading over an essay that I have been working on for almost (literally) 3 years. I was practicing going in and out of the words in the essay–shifting my awareness of them, moving from words to shapes to symbols of language and back. I wanted to connect with the words in the essay. I set the intention—the fundamental of establishing an energetic connection. I did a subtle plug-in (feet on the ground, focus on my breathing), and I felt my visual perception shift into Tron-mode—my field of vision starts to look like the 1980s Tron movie. The boring bookshelves turned into cases full of neon beams of light, and the books on them became crystals. I felt a bit like I was in The Library of Babel (a place created by Borges, the Argentinian writer’s concept of a hexagonal, bee-hive shaped infinity library). The idea of the interconnectedness of all of the ideas, writers, and me to them was so immediately apparent and (good kind of) overwhelming. It was a connection that had been previously blocked. And I felt like I was a part of this vast network that, through the act of writing, pull ether into material and with that, create our world because information is our world. I felt a deep sense of satisfaction, too, because this was part of the energy work that I offer. I help people expand their sense of selves and worldviews using language, story telling, and information. Turn worlds inside out for all to see. Words are sacred, as is the space they come from.
Hold that thought.
I had asked Atasiea before the trip to Guatemala ended if he was interested in taking me on as a student, conveying to me the way he was able to facilitate sacred space for energy work, the way he had done during the retreat. He agreed that he would be when the time was right.
And in the desert, that alignment happened.
My sessions happened with Atasiea happened over the phone. They usually entailed me lying down on my bed, surrounded by my crystals and journal, speaker phone on. I was physically in the desert; he in LA, his base. But through our conscious co-establishing of a connection on a quantum level, the time and space between us became irrelevant. We started each session with a grounding, connecting our being to the skies and the Earth, invocations and prayers, and then, a full hour and a half in what I call “sacred space.” We created it, and within it, worked through reiki (prana—life force exchange) and channeling (receipt and transmission of knowledge from a higher dimension). It was like being connected to a library of myself, one that contained memories, data, emotions, and all possibilities.
Using imagination-intuition-the liminal sacred space is really trippy. I said, “Whoa, WTF?” a lot, often to a chuckle by Atasiea. “I know, right?” he usually replied with his soft California accent. “This fifth dimension stuff is legit.”
Sometimes it felt like I was deep inside my body, and other times it felt like I was out of my head and somewhere, another time and space completely different, somewhere else. Information exchanged. I relived scenes from years ago by remembering things that I had forgotten or stuffed inside. I re-collected energy that was stuck in that time and space. I talked out declarations of power and sovereignty over thick karmic patterns that kept me from making conscious, co-creating choices. For all the times that I shoulda-woulda-coulda, I did–at least, through words, in sacred space.
Sacred space feels like it’s in a dimension apart from this heavy, 3D one. The truth is that sacred space can be everywhere, even in the non-space of data transmission happening over phone lines.
The after effects, how I felt post-healing sessions: tired. Bone tired. I spent hours afterward resting in the camper, full 360-degrees of vast open desert space, mountains, isolation. I wrote a lot about it, too, in my notebooks since documenting and sharing has become part of my core body of work, part of what I am doing here on this blog. The details of the sessions are important only to me. But their evidence is the change in the way that I am; a change in my patterning—a break in toxic patterns that felt embedded at my core. The was I felt after the entire experiment: changed, and lighter somehow.
I believe my ability to turn on Tron-mode (which is what my field of vision looks like when I am in sacred space) is the result of energy work that I did with Atasiea.
Now let’s combine some thoughts.
What do fundamental bits mean anyway? Where do words come from? What does quantum level mean? Western science says it’s where particles that create our physical reality are. The particles can connect instantly, as in, they operate outside the flow of time as we understand it at other levels. Quantum level is atomic. And there’s a theory that DNA molecules—the building blocks of our physical reality—are held together by entanglement at the quantum level. These ideas hold up to Eastern philosophy, providing belief systems that expound the interconnectedness of all things; that our separations between objects are illusions created by our limited physical methods of perception. Frontier research in fields like parapsychology shows that we are moving toward an entanglement of Western science with Eastern philosophy as we continue to generate data that support a worldview that includes the conscious interaction of mind, body, and spirit.
Before Guatemala, my worldview on energy work was that it was powerful but weird. It was woo woo. I felt like it was something that I should be doing but just couldn’t. It was as if I had lacked some kind of permission by myself to practice energy work freely (and it’s possible that a lot of this was inherited ancestral memory—stuff I inherited but didn’t actually create). I had bad information inside. Toxic patterns that held me back. But by engaging healing at the quantum level, I was able to go into the core and metaphorically switch the disk.
It’s just that my vision of sacred space looks like an 80s movie. Welcome to my Tron-world.